Glycon the Magnificent

“All things considered, my insights are practically inevitable. There is a trick to living life, or doing anything really, although I don’t know what you can do, that isn’t also living. So let’s just say it’s a general rule, or a guiding principle. Yes a principle, as I consider myself very fortunate in that regard. 

It was a smash hit, struck a nerve, hit a chord, it blew up like mad. The people loved it. The people people too. No posers, or opportunists no. It was really nothing like that at all. At the most, you could say it was a bit kitschy at times, but whose fault is that really?

Well I didn’t think it was my fault at all, not in the least. But I digress.

The general principle that really started me on the path to the librarian of virtue as some have come to (incorrectly) refer to me as is thus.

When you don’t like something, pretend it doesn’t exist.

People were tired of the illusion, the veils, the high fences, and the secrecy. It was my thought, some may say, that was the catalyst for such a revolutionary change. It was the thought that was not allowed to be thought.

It was the dark one, the anti-thought, as it were. The negation, the rejection of the real. Obscured in a fog of veils, and blindfolds, who is to say what is what? Is it my job? I should hope not. But if not me, then who? Who can tell me about the real? And how can it be separated from the veil itself?

You cannot. It is a deeper maze still to try. A meta-illusion, the self-inflicted riposte of irrational rationality, an orthodoxy about reality. This realness was necessary for everyone to come together at first. However, the realness orthodoxy eventually found its way into everything. Making everything real.

How is that possible? I cannot tell you, it isn’t for man to know really. But what the truth and reality of the situation reveals, is that it is an incomplete ideal. You may ask yourself, how can something be an incomplete ideal?

This sounds self-contradictory as a concept. Which is because it is, which is why it is true. Incidentally this truth, or the reality of this truth, is also the proof of its antithesis. Which means everything that can be true is, but not all truths are untrue, however there are many more untruths than anything at all.

This is getting a bit garbled, I know. That’s why I prefer to use real world examples. Some people call these miracles, which due to my great virtue, is quite offensive, but it would be equally offensive to pretend that their antithetical idea wasn’t a truth.

My favorite of which, is the scope out method. You see, people come to me all the time, cynics, unbelievers, narcissists, reductionist, mystics. People that remind me of you (not that I hold it against you, since you’re right, because if you weren’t I would be wrong.)

I send them out, a complete reversal. Slam them head first onto the shores of a concrete world.

You can imagine how painful that can be. Just picture it, you’re floating along having a nice day in the world, when all of a sudden, I grab you. It’s not like I’m literally grabbing you with a hand or anything, but I seize you completely nonetheless.

You’re all abluster at this naturally. You try to wriggle free, but just can’t slip through my (metaphorical) grasp. Then I spike you down on the real hard. There is no revelation, no parting of the veil, but an impact into it. A merging with it.

Its not a bad place per say, but quickly, almost too fast for some, you realized the tyranny of this existence.

Within microseconds of arriving you realize there are rules at play. Silly rules, arbitrary rules, and all of these rules, feed into one another like a net.

You thought me grabbing you was bad, but now this net of laws has you. The worst part about all of this, is that it’s a closed net. A tautological system, or closed system.

This frame that is force onto your perspective, begins eliminating all the ambiguity and openness of existence.

When before you were drifting free, all of a sudden you are launched onto a path of the real. Everything around you appears first, and then you are catapulted backwards and forwards in time at one moment. Your mind snaps outwards, and then back, vibrating and wiggling like a rubber band.

And in the single moment that this rubber band stretches and snaps back, in this one particular piece of time, all of your unreal realities are ejected. You cannot see as you saw before. You cannot look into the sky, and look into the thing that has looked into the sky.

Being trapped now, like an amoeba between to pieces of glass under a microscope, distorts all sorts of things.

My favorite of which is time. Everything starts to go wonky with time. You forget about the lifetime you’ve spent as yourself, and are all of a sudden something else entirely. Your memories of before wash away, and this concrete tautological process takes those memories out like wet garbage.

Trying to hold onto it makes it worse, it can drive some people crazy, but eventually everyone submits. And once your time is taken from you, who you are, is no longer under your control. You are the flattened amoeba once again. Dividing and dividing and dividing.

So I’m all not that surprised that you’ve come to volunteer for this, I’m entertained by your sheer idiocy, but in the end, this relationship we have is mutually beneficial.”

“Ugh, I don’t think this is going to work.” She grumbled

“What? Why?! You said make it charismatic!” He yelled.

She pointed at it, “You can’t going putting things like this into people’s homes. It’s lunacy.”

“It’s good! You said make clever lizard, and I made a clever lizard.” The man argued.

“I didn’t say to make a frankly unnerving, manipulative lizard. Honestly, it sounds like its trying to start a cult.”

“Glycon’s just got a great way presenting things Miriam, that’s how he’s made.”

“What’s going to happen when we try to market it to people huh? Who wants a pet like this, he’s obviously amoral, and probably idealizes suicide.”

“That’s bullshit!” He spat back.

“Oh yea?” Miriam huffed, “Watch this then.”

She turned to the five foot long lizard, coiled around the branch. It stared at her with glassy yellow eyes, its sharp teeth hidden under an artificial smile.

“What happens when you die, Glycon?”

“Death? Haha, it seems as though you have not been listening, of course I forgive you for that. It would be a blemish on my virtue to hold such a petty grudge.

Death is like all the other things in this world. Immaterial, with the illusion of concreteness, it only appears to be death because of time. Like I was saying about time. Death is just the removal of the illusion of concrete time. “

“Would I go to a better place then?” She probed aggressively.

“Outside of concrete time, all that was forgotten is restored, live or die, your return is inevitable. So to come early or to arrive late, it is all the same. The very idea of value is pinned to the underlying tautological concreteness you are chained to. So once unchained, your infinity is made apparent, and these things will no longer worry you.”

“Are you hearing this?” Miriam shouted back to him.

“What? What’s he saying? It’s all good stuff, people love this post-empirical cleverness in their pets!”

“The thing is going to eat people!”

“They can’t murder people Miriam! It’s in their genetic coding, they can only behave voluntaristically.”

“Glycon,” Miriam said, turning back to the lizard, “Can you help me escape the illusion of time?”

The lizards smile curled tightly revealing its teeth, its pupils dilated, constricting tightly.

“Escape? There is no escaping an illusion, only transcending. In that regard…”

The lizard paused, collecting its thoughts.

“In that regard, there is only one true transcendence, if you want my help there, you have to ask yourself, is this the mark you want to make on the world? To show it, to defy its laws, and conventions. To be brave enough, to be truly free?”

Miriam glanced over to him, as if to say, “Do you get it now, you idiot?”

She looked back to the lizard, “What do I need to do, to be free?”

Its jaw opened slightly, involuntarily.

You need only sleep, dear Miriam. Sleep in my care, and be free.

“See!” She shouted.

“What? It’s just talking about dreaming.” He responded

“It’s talking about eating me!” She retorted.

“Look! Even if it was, which it’s not, it couldn’t actually eat anyone, it can’t murder.”

“It’s not murder, if the person requests it!”

“Well then who cares Miriam? It’s not like people don’t kill themselves with ships, or guns, what’s the difference?”

“That’s it. I’m putting it in the airlock!”

She grabbed the thing, by its neck, and began dragging it out of the lab.

“Hey, you can’t do that!” He yelled, chasing after her.

She hurried into the corridor, he pursued her frantically yelling, “You can’t destroy the lizard, it’s sentient, it’s intelligent, it would be murder!”

“It’s a monster!” She yelled back, in-between strained breaths.

“Are you going to kill me Miriam? Will you join me on the other side? You will, we’ll see each other again so soon. This concrete place, these metal walls, and electronic machines will peal away like the time induced illusion it is.”

As Miriam nears the air lock, he seizes her by the back of the head.

“Put the lizard down Miriam.” He says sternly, “We’re going to arrive at the Jupiter Expo in less than two days. Let’s give the lizard a chance to be reviewed by the judges.”

Miriam shook free, and continued running towards the airlock.

“Miriam! This is the culmination of my entire life’s work. You can’t just flush it out the airlock!”

“Now I know why you refused to pull it out of stasis until now. You’re ashamed to admit that, it’s a monster, a mistake!”

“Who are you to call it a mistake? Glycon has sentience, intelligence, if you flush it out of that airlock, you’ll be a murderer!”

“I’m not murdering it, I’m removing it from the illusion of concrete time, isn’t that right Glycon?” She asked the lizard she was half choking.

It looked at Miriam wide mouthed, with a frenzied look in its eye. It gave this same cold stare to Him, and then back to her.

“She is correct, Professor Nizeer, it is all an illusion, you both will join me. For you it will take a long “time”, but for me, it will be instant, I pity you for that fact.”

“What?” Miriam paused for a moment.

“Please place me in the air lock if you wish, I cannot resist you, it is not in my as Nizeer said, in my genetic makeup.”

“Well?” Miriam asked Professor Nizeer.

She gestured towards the airlock, opening the clear latching door. The lizard began walking into the small box.

Nizeer reached out, looking defeated, “Please Miriam don’t! You’re better than this.”

Miriam closed the airlock door behind the lizard.

“We’re doing this Nizeer.”


“I’m sorry, but I can’t be programmed like one of your creations.” She walked over to the control panel.

“No, I’m sorry.” The professor said hollowly.

Miriam was focused on the panel, when a tiny pin jabbed her in the neck. She flinched from surprise, and pulled it out. She turned back to Nizeer who was brandishing a proposthetic. A slim gray ejector, used to tranquilize lab subjects.

She collapsed harshly from the sudden sedative.

“Sorry Miriam, you’ll have to take a nap until we arrive at the Expo.

Oh no Professor.

“What do you mean?”

She’s dead.

“No, it’s just a tranquilizer Glycon, don’t be silly.”


Its nostrils flared against the glass, fogging it.

Yes, I can smell it from here. An allergic reaction, the sedative is having a reaction with her heart medication.

“What are you saying?” Nizeer asked concerned, he retrieved a vitals monitor.

He scanned Miriam, and found it to be true, she had no pulse.

“No! No!” He yelled, dropping to his knees.

Nizeer quickly began apply CPR, trying to revive her. He injected her with a stimulant, and kept going, but she lay their, perfectly limp.

The lizard stretched lazily during this incident. He loosened up, and climbed up to the handle of the airlock with its front claws.

It opened the door, and entered slowly.

I’m sorry for your loss Professor, but it was not murder, you acted in defensive of life, not against it.

“This is bad,” He panted, trying to revive her still.

It is unfortunate, for us. But for her, we are already by her side in eternity.

The lizard sniffed her arm, and bit into with its sharp mouth. It ripped flesh from her, and began swallowing the bloody mess greedily.

“Stop it!”

The lizard stopped mid-chew.

She’s already gone Nizeer. I’m sorry. I so often forget you are burden by these illusions of time.

“That doesn’t mean you can eat her!”

She’s not a she anyone Professor, it is just a pile of meat and bones. She is with the universe now.

Nizeer, got up solemnly, and walked out of the room, almost zombie like.

Professor, just remember, the burden of time is temporary. The feeling of permanence is the illusion, just rest on that.

“Okay…” He said halfheartedly, “I’ll be in the lab, lot of things to report…”

Good, don’t worry about Miriam, her remains I mean, I’ll dispose of them, no mess, no fuss.

Nizeer disappeared into his lab. The lizard, alone at last, crawled onto Miriam’s lifeless chest, peering deeply into her glazed eyes.

“Don’t worry Miriam, you’ll be together again. You all be together before you know it.”

A faint twinkle in her eye, a recognition, appeared through the veil.

“Shhhh, its only a dream.”

Glycon clamped down on her stomach and twisted.